I know... I know... I'm a terrible blogger.
I'm never consistent. I forget that I even have a blog. I also, get private and don't want to share what's going on in my life with everyone I know or people I've never met.
But here's the thing...
If I never tell my story, who is going to tell it for me?
Isaiah 12:4-5
"In that wonderful day you will sing:
Thank the Lord! Praise His name!
Tell the nations what he has done.
Let them know how mighty he is!
Sing to the Lord, for he has done wonderful things.
Make known his praise
around the world."
How can I not tell my story!? All of the good, all of the bad and all of the ugly. I know I'm not the best writer. I know I am not capable of reaching those around the world with what God is teaching me. I know I lack knowledge and abilities. Yet, God is still able. He will still use me. It doesn't matter if it is only 6 people. If I am able to reach someone with HIS story, in my life. Then I have done what He has called me to do.
So bare with me. I may not write often, I may not write in length, but I will commit to write.
Here goes the word vomit... (excuse me)
As you know, we moved to Wilmington, NC, 4 years ago this coming August. It has been such an amazing/unpredictable journey. When we moved here, we were on Cloud 9!
We thought, "This is amazing! God called us here to serve, He worked everything out for us to be here, let's dig in! Where can we serve? How many things can we do to help?"
Tally Hoe! We were ALL in!
The first few years went wonderfully, and I'm so thankful for the opportunity that God gave us to work with Crosswinds. However, because we jumped in so fast, and so deep, we wore out pretty quickly.
The devil started to seep into our thoughts, our lives and how we processed what we were doing, and why we were here.
We started to drift away spiritually from our calling. We still served, and enjoyed being in Wilmington. But we missed our friends, family and just the way that life "used to be". We used to have friends to hang out with every weekend. We used to have great jobs with good money. We used to live so close to home that we didn't have to worry about holidays and how we needed to schedule time. We used to be able to help out when family needed us. There were a lot of "used to's" that we missed.
So when Kyle got injured (a ba-jillion times in 3 years) and his jobs got worse, and life got so busy from jumping in so deep. We got tired...
We started thinking about the "used to's" and how we would be "better off" moving back to Greensboro,NC and working at our "great jobs with good money". Getting stuck in that mentality really put us in a negative place.
We missed opportunities.
We let our circumstances and feelings take the place of why God called us to Wilmington in the first place. It wasn't for OUR good. It was for HIS GLORY! We were CALLED here!
We moved here to be ministers for Christ! We moved here to witness and love on the community! We moved here to learn, to be uncomfortable. It's not about US! It's about HIM!
When we moved here we started working heavily in the the youth ministry. We came to realize quickly, that we absolutely love teenagers. It wasn't new to us, we had worked with teens before, but this became a passion! So much so that we felt so much love for them, we missed them if we weren't able to make it on a Wednesday night. They became our ministry.
We learned that you don't have to go over seas to have a mission field. You have a mission field in your backyard. These teens made it reality for us that we don't see the big picture in our life. We have never gone without, we've always been taken care of. Our families are there to support us and show us how to have a good work ethic and to be good people. How we should get a job, and keep a job. They provided love, support and a good education for us. They sacrificed so much for us that we don't even realize how good we have it.
Until, we moved here.
Working with these teens has been such a blessing, so humbling and thought provoking. I was never really around families that had fallen apart. I was sheltered. I'm thankful for the protection my family gave me in my youth, but this was a real reality check.
We recently had a few teens that have been going through some pretty heavy things. Spiritual battles, hallucinations, questions about becoming a Christian but too afraid to speak about it publicly or let their family know. (just to name a few)
This has been a really big test for us, mainly because we feel ill equipped. We feel like this is a journey a little to out of our comfort zone, or even understanding. However, as a few friends gently reminded me...
This is not my battle.
It's God's Battle! I need to look to Him in times like this. It isn't my place to tell them what to do or how to feel. It's my job to listen to what God has to teach them, and speak truth in love, and maybe not speak at all.
This journey has been an interesting one, but one thing is for sure, I'm listening. I'm ready to be molded into what He wants me to be. My eyes are open, my ears are alert. I'm willing.
I'm so thankful for this journey, I know that there is a lot to look forward to and there will be rough areas, but again, God WILL get the Glory! And who am I to stand in the way?
Thanks for listening, hope you are able to search yourself with what is spoken in this blog. We all have things to work on, we are all working towards our best self. Don't let yourself hold you back from what God has in store for your life! Don't miss opportunities because you are looking at your "used to's". There is a reason that they are called "used to". Take every thought captive (2 Cor. 10:5) and Consider it pure Joy in whatever you are facing right now (James 1:2-4). Give God the Glory for what He is doing in your life!
Don't miss it!
-Hillary
